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Survivor: Day of Reckonin’

For the first 10 minutes of last night’s episode there was a winter storm warning scrolling across the bottom of the screen.  This is the first such warning since Her Sweetness and I moved to Charlotte in July and a winter storm in Charlotte is apparently just cold rain.  Schools are delayed.  I’ll be honest, I don’t think I’ll feel like a local any time soon, but by the end of the episode a little Carolina pride blossomed inside of me like a little baby bit of okra.  With about 15 minutes left in the episode, I thought, “Boy, Chase’d better not show his face in my Carolina neighborhood.  Liar.  Backstabber.  Flipper!”

I’ve seen every episode of Survivor and very few moments have captivated me as much as last night when Jane just wanted to make sure that her alliance was still strong.  This is a game built on lying and Jane thought she was in an honest to goodness alliance of honest people, except Sash.  When she asked them if they still had an alliance of four or if that had changed, typically contestants would just lie to appease her and surprise her at Tribal Council.  But you see, Holly can’t lie, Chase can’t lie, and Sash is smart enough not to get the blood on his hands.  Holly is smart enough to know that if you’re not talking, you’re not lying, so let Chase do all the talking.  He’s stupid, he’s young, let him stammer.  And stammer he did.   Twice this episode, Holly and Sash shut up while Chase made an ass out of himself.  At Tribal Council, Probst even said during one of the silences, “The game is being played right now.”

Back to Jane’s moment, watching the rage flick on behind her eyes when she realized she was out was as gripping as reality television can get unless someone passes out face down into a roaring campfire.  Then Sash drove the dagger home.  Survivor was nice enough to even toll a bell at the moment the camera cut to Jane.  Good times.  By the way does Jane look a little like Susan Sarandon to anyone else?

The first question that came to my mind was why wouldn’t Fabio and Dan form a quick alliance with Jane and vote out Holly.  Easy, they both have a better chance to win immunity two more times than they do of beating Jane against a jury, so why bring her?  Actually Dan has no chance to win anything, this is more about Fabio.  Seriously, are there two people that deserve to win less than Dan?  No, of the five people left, I would rank them: Sash, Holly, Fabio, Dan, Chase in terms of deserving to win.  Chase is last because he has dumbed his way through this whole game.  At least Dan knows he has no chance.  If it’s up to me, I take Dan and Chase to the finals and I’d be a lock to win.  I guess I’m rooting for Fabio, though.  I’m not sure why.

  • I guess there won’t be an auction this season.  I’m bummed.
  • Who do you think is going to rebuild the fire?  I remember Fabio getting the smoke in his eyes earlier this season, but can he build a fire?
  • Chase has really gotten his share of life lessons this season.
  • Probably some uncomfortable moments when Jane met Marty after being eliminated.  Marty threw the target on Jane’s back weeks ago and it stayed there until last night.  If Marty hadn’t said anything, I doubt that anyone this season would have been smart enough to see the threat Jane was.
  • If my Dad came on to the show to participate in a challenge, I would kiss him that much only to make him uncomfortable on television.  Quite frankly, I was a little uncomfortable watching that.
  • “What?  I didn’t know Fabio was that smart?”  He really rocked that puzzle.
  • Anyone miss Purple Kelly?
  • Holly’s husband seemed Super South Dakota Fired Up to be there.

Survivor Freeze Frame of the Week: I’ve got a few for you this week.

The Bell tolls for thee:

Hey, ummm, I think I’d….yeah, I’d like you to stop that:

There’s no way both of them know what that word means:

Survivor: Whatever week this is.

Come on in, guys.  Last night was the big tribe shake up that was promised in last week’s previews and it provided us with an episode chock full of questionable decisions.

I’ll start at the end.  I think I’m missing something about what Tyrone did that was so wrong.  Maybe he went on and on about the work structure at camp and we just didn’t see it all, but I didn’t see anything wrong with that talk he gave when his new, young tribemates arrived at their new camp.  Leadership is a sin on Survivor.  It looked to me like Tyrone was simply communicating what his tribe had been doing in terms of delegating the work that needs to be done.  He even seemed open to input, but maybe these kids today get so defiant whenever it sounds remotely like anyone is telling them what to do.  Good luck, future Earth.  However, this all came on the heels of Tyrone psychotically saying, “There may be some flirtation going on” in his new tribe…barf!  Who on the young tribe would be flirting with someone on the older tribe?  Since Holly said that all of the young people remind her of her kids, all of them are out.  That only leaves Tyrone and Dan to flirt with Naonka and Alina.  Double barf!

Three more Tyrone/tribe related  notes before we move on.  The first, from that giant pile of wood they had, it looked like the wood gatherers could take a bit of a sabbatical.  The second, if that shelter is so bad…ummm… fix it!  Lastly, the chickens.  I have no problems with them eating one early, I have a slight problem with Tyrone eating more than his share, that’s another Survivor sin.

I say, I say, I say the egg can't come first if there ain't no chickens. Or something like that.

Now I’m no John Deere, but I believe that this tribe chose to kill an egg producing hen, while a non-egg producing rooster is still strutting around it’s cage.  No amount of individual leadership will trump group stupidity.

Moving on, Marty might be a jackass.  If you find yourself on Survivor saying, “You can’t get cocky in this game” right after you gave a speech telling us how you’re safe for two or three weeks, you might be a jackass.  If you have told every single player in the game that you have an immunity idol, you might be a jackass.  If you’re telling the other tribe that what Naonka did with the idol clue was an unforgivable sin and they should have voted her out, but yet they never had an opportunity to because your tribe kept losing, you might be a jackass.

A few questions I have:

  • Fabio felt comfortable in his old tribe when he was clearly out of the big alliance?  I don’t think he even knows he’s playing Survivor.  Maybe he thinks he’s at camp.
  • Alina and Naonka are close now?
  • Are you as thrilled as I am that the Medallion of Power is gone and we’re back to two challenges per episode?
  • Was there any chance that Naonka would have been on the wheel to get dunked in the water?
  • You didn’t really think she was quitting did you?
  • Why wasn’t her immunity idol mentioned at all?  Did she bring it with her when the tribes split up?  Why didn’t Jeff Probst ask if anyone wanted to play an idol at tribal council?  She got some votes, but it wasn’t even mentioned, that’s fishy.
  • Are they really going to have individual immunity with 15 people left next week?

My pick Jill update:  She’s screwed and I’m not mad about it.  Her best chance to survive was if Marty didn’t say anything about the idol, then she told the other tribe he had it and they blindsided Marty.  True, Jane probably would have told them all first, which says how screwed Jill is for being in an alliance with Marty in the first place.  She needs to get away from him quickly and make friends with Kelly B. and  Fabio then hope that Dan, Yve, and Alina will join them when they merge.  It’s her only hope.

Survivor Freeze Frame:  While the immunity challenge provided lots of nice spitting out water shots, this week’s winner features Naonka’s misery with the added bonus of a “That’s what she said” moment:

Survivor, week 2.

Wow, this season is going to be a hot mess.  I don’t actually know where to start.  I assume it should be at the beginning of the episode with someone else, Holly, taking the loon title from the departed Wendy.  Before I could even grapple with how much of a loon she was for dumping the snails in the ocean, she takes Dan’s $1600 gators, fills them with sand, and sits them (in shallow water, easy enough to recover) in the ocean, then tells him about it minutes later.

Sweet gators, but not $1600 sweet.

Before I could grapple with that, I had to go back and think about Dan spending $1600 on a pair of shoes that weren’t made out of golden truffles.  Why bring them to the island?  I don’t know if there are alligators in Guatemala, but why risk any jungle animal reacting negatively and attacking you thinking that your shoes are a predator?

I’m not sure I agree with Jimmy Johnson’s approach.  Why not just say, “I’m a fan of the show, I’m happy to be here, I don’t want to lead and make speeches, there may be someone else here that can and wants to do it, I just want to play the game like a normal schmuck.”  He would stick out anyway, why stick out more?

Gimme back my socks!

Sorry, Naonka, I’m not sure what the rules are about fighting between contestants, but I’d really think about choke slamming you if you took my socks out there.  And why are these alleged fans of the show wearing shorts and not pants?  No one learns.

There is nothing predictable about the young tribe, except as I said last week, Shannon being voted out early.  What an idiot.  It’s already been said on ew.com, but if John Rocker didn’t pop in to your head during Shannon’s Tribal Council diatribe, than you must not know who John Rocker is.  Google him.  I also said last week that Brenda needed to go early too, she still may, I doubt it though.  I do have a question for Sash, though.  In all seriousness, does an amputee fall in to the minority alliance he’s trying to put together?  I’ve done no research, but I assume there are less amputees in the world than African-Americans or Asian sensations.  She ended up voting for Shannon, but before he informed us that New York City was full of gays, Kelly B. was on Shannon’s side now she has no alliance.

Easy decision on The Medallion of Power for the oldies.  Mud would have slowed them down a ton, probably more than Holly slowed them down.  It will be interesting to see if the young tribe uses the Medallion next week or if their overconfidence gets the best of them.  Although, a lot of their overconfidence got voted off last night.  If I were with the oldies, I would have taken the tarp, though, but I understand hunger will probably do more damage to the oldies than being wet would.

My winner choice, Jill update: Well, she figured out the Immunity Idol clue pretty quickly, but she let Marty find it.  That could actually work to her advantage, because she has the knowledge that he has it, but doesn’t carry the target of actually having it.  Right now, there’s no reason for her to be voted out of the tribe in the foreseeable future.  Holly and Jimmy T. will get voted out for being loons, Jimmy Johnson will get voted out for being Jimmy Johnson, and Marty will get blindsided eventually.  Jill is already set up to make the merge as long as she just gathers wood and doesn’t go all loony toons.