Tag Archives: Naonka

Survivor: We don’t get that hour back.

I’m giving this recap a half-assed effort in honor of the job that the casting department did this season.  I’m annoyed by the whole episode last night, I hope this isn’t a sign of this show slowing down, but between two people quitting and watching people watch a movie, there aren’t many positives to say about this episode.  Maybe it’s because last week was a recap, but I was expecting more.  Much like Holly who just wants a hot dog, this episode left me hungry.

You know what?  I’m not even going to type any more paragraphs.  Here….bullets:

  • I appreciate that Jeff Probst gets genuinely angry when people quit.  He sits in the same rain as the contestants at Tribal Council and he seems like a fan of the game.  I don’t know what his accommodations are like off-camera, there’s probably at least a roof, but I feel like he cares.  This matters to me.
  • When is the last time that there wasn’t a solid alliance this late in the game?
  • I look forward to whatever buffoonery Chase has in store for his newly acquired immunity idol.
  • The reward challenge looked pretty difficult, which is disappointing considering the reward was candy and jalapenos.  I would have taken all of the peanut M&M’s.
  • Why was Alina crying?
  • I would have like to see Marty’s pre-jury hair battle that rain.

No more bullets, consider this blog smuffed.

Except for the Survivor Freeze Frame of the Week. Since the show has stopped bringing it strong these last few weeks, I’m going to bring it hard.  Consider it broughten:

This is just funny:

And this is what it feels like when you don’t get your hot dog:

 

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Survivor: 3 days late recap

Finally, the pot has been stirred.  For some reason it took Marty’s hair getting voted out for people to wake up.  He seemed to be everyone but Dan’s primary target so it doesn’t really make sense for his elimination to stir things up, but there hasn’t been much sense made this season.

Something clicked in Holly’s head, she decided it was time to play, and to the jury went Brenda.  Yes, Brenda who helped two people find hidden immunity idols, practically made them take the idols instead of taking them herself, and then didn’t see it as necessary to lower herself to scrambling.  All she needed to do was swing one person to her side to replace Naonka, but she couldn’t be bothered.  If Chase is one of your strongest allies, you need to rethink things anyway.  What the hell is that guy’s deal?  Did he really just want to get into Brenda’s yellow bikini bottom?  If he had ever managed to get an immunity idol he would have surely given it away and gotten himself voted off.  Will the Carolinas ever forgive him for his dumbassedness?  Will he win?

Seriously, who’s going to win this thing now?  I have no idea.  Now it seems like Sash and Chase are the next two to go, but at this stage everything changes so much week to week.  There are still two immunity idols, assuming they didn’t go up in flames when the tribe fed all of their wooden chests to the fire, so Sash and Naonka should be safe for a few more weeks.  Jane keeps winning challenges and Marty’s words about her being a lock to win if she makes it are still looming.  It seems like there are a few people that have no right to win (Dan, Absent of Mind Kelly, and Chase), but why vote them off before Jane or anyone else who may actually win a challenge?

  • Remember that time when I was sledding down the side of a volcano in Guatemala with Naonka?  That was awesome.
  • Is Jeff Probst more involved vocally in these challenges than he has been in the past?  Has he ever told another contestant, “Don’t you dare quit on this challenge”?  How about all that gruff he gave the yellow team in the barrel challenge?  “If this were life or death….you’d be dead.”  Good stuff, maybe the producers told him that someone needs to spruce up this season, and then it all came together in one episode.
  • The barrel challenge seemed like it was edited down to 2 minutes when it probably took an hour.  I still say cut it down even more and let me see the school yard picking of teams.
  • Pizza, brownies, green pop, and…banana bread?  Banana bread is out of place there.

    I Google image searched Chocolate Eruption looking for a picture from "Goonies". This came up instead. He's a Bengal.

    How about some molten lava cake?  Or some Chocolate Eruption?  I’m on the side of a freakin’ volcano!  Banana bread?

  • Dan was the fifth one out of the immunity challenge.  That will be his best performance all season.  Even if he manages to be one of the last four people there, he still won’t do better than being fifth out of a physical challenge.
  • Kelly Blank Head’s 20 years of wisdom allowed her to be the only one to vote for Benry.  Even Chase and Sash voted for Brenda.
  • It’s about time for the auction, is it not?
  • Marty should wear a hat.

Survivor Freeze Frame of the Week: Because I’m late, you get a bonus freeze frame.  The first is the understatement of the year.  The second is another “That’s what she Said” moment.

Survivor.

I woke up this morning and decided to cook all of you breakfast.  That makes me mad!  So because I decided on my own to do a nice thing and cook all of you breakfast…and it made me mad, I’m taking these Crunch Berries and hiding them.  That’ll teach you to let me do something nice for you.

What the hell is wrong with this Naonka person?  I’ve made it a point to try and not write too much about her so as to not give her ignorance my time.  I also wish that the sports media would just stop asking Terrell Owens and Brett Favre for their opinions, but I doubt either will happen.  Initially I thought she was just trolling for fame by being the rude reality star, now I think it’s something else.  I have no idea what, I’m no doctor.  What do you think, Purple Kelly? (silence)

Bread!  Rum!  Feast!  “We gotta drink all of this…today!”  Right on, Fabio.  Who amongst us hasn’t had days like that where all of the booze just needed to be dealt with, no matter what the consequences.  Back in my 20’s, we called that Saturday.

One thing I never did in my 20’s, or my 30’s,  was P90X.  Apparently Jane has and it seems to be serving her well.

Wanna know what you're playin' for?

Although, for the immunity challenge I’m pretty certain that a Shake Weight may have served as just as good of a training tool.  It looked like it was all forearms and deltoids being worked out in that challenge, that screams Shake Weight to me.  Shake Weight!  Right before the challenge, I asked Her Sweetness, “What’s the over/under on Dan lasting?  Three minutes?”  Then he was out.  That rod is probably heavier than I think. (That’s what she said)

Anyone else tired of hearing Marty blabber on?  I do like what his hair has become, but I’m Marty-saturated.  Dan has nothing to say?  Holly?  Purple Kelly, what about you? (silence)

I do know this, Benry needs to form an alliance with Marty right now.  Bring in Fabio and maybe Holly (make sure you get her South Dakota Word of Honor), then shut up about it.  Otherwise you all become a group of swing votes, why not merge your swingvotedness and dominate?

Anyway, see ya Alina.  Whatever.  Nice try at making a plan out of nowhere with a group of people that didn’t like you.  Nice awareness.

Survivor Freeze Frame of the Week: I call this one “Not Quite Eve”.

 

Survivor: Whatever week this is.

Come on in, guys.  Last night was the big tribe shake up that was promised in last week’s previews and it provided us with an episode chock full of questionable decisions.

I’ll start at the end.  I think I’m missing something about what Tyrone did that was so wrong.  Maybe he went on and on about the work structure at camp and we just didn’t see it all, but I didn’t see anything wrong with that talk he gave when his new, young tribemates arrived at their new camp.  Leadership is a sin on Survivor.  It looked to me like Tyrone was simply communicating what his tribe had been doing in terms of delegating the work that needs to be done.  He even seemed open to input, but maybe these kids today get so defiant whenever it sounds remotely like anyone is telling them what to do.  Good luck, future Earth.  However, this all came on the heels of Tyrone psychotically saying, “There may be some flirtation going on” in his new tribe…barf!  Who on the young tribe would be flirting with someone on the older tribe?  Since Holly said that all of the young people remind her of her kids, all of them are out.  That only leaves Tyrone and Dan to flirt with Naonka and Alina.  Double barf!

Three more Tyrone/tribe related  notes before we move on.  The first, from that giant pile of wood they had, it looked like the wood gatherers could take a bit of a sabbatical.  The second, if that shelter is so bad…ummm… fix it!  Lastly, the chickens.  I have no problems with them eating one early, I have a slight problem with Tyrone eating more than his share, that’s another Survivor sin.

I say, I say, I say the egg can't come first if there ain't no chickens. Or something like that.

Now I’m no John Deere, but I believe that this tribe chose to kill an egg producing hen, while a non-egg producing rooster is still strutting around it’s cage.  No amount of individual leadership will trump group stupidity.

Moving on, Marty might be a jackass.  If you find yourself on Survivor saying, “You can’t get cocky in this game” right after you gave a speech telling us how you’re safe for two or three weeks, you might be a jackass.  If you have told every single player in the game that you have an immunity idol, you might be a jackass.  If you’re telling the other tribe that what Naonka did with the idol clue was an unforgivable sin and they should have voted her out, but yet they never had an opportunity to because your tribe kept losing, you might be a jackass.

A few questions I have:

  • Fabio felt comfortable in his old tribe when he was clearly out of the big alliance?  I don’t think he even knows he’s playing Survivor.  Maybe he thinks he’s at camp.
  • Alina and Naonka are close now?
  • Are you as thrilled as I am that the Medallion of Power is gone and we’re back to two challenges per episode?
  • Was there any chance that Naonka would have been on the wheel to get dunked in the water?
  • You didn’t really think she was quitting did you?
  • Why wasn’t her immunity idol mentioned at all?  Did she bring it with her when the tribes split up?  Why didn’t Jeff Probst ask if anyone wanted to play an idol at tribal council?  She got some votes, but it wasn’t even mentioned, that’s fishy.
  • Are they really going to have individual immunity with 15 people left next week?

My pick Jill update:  She’s screwed and I’m not mad about it.  Her best chance to survive was if Marty didn’t say anything about the idol, then she told the other tribe he had it and they blindsided Marty.  True, Jane probably would have told them all first, which says how screwed Jill is for being in an alliance with Marty in the first place.  She needs to get away from him quickly and make friends with Kelly B. and  Fabio then hope that Dan, Yve, and Alina will join them when they merge.  It’s her only hope.

Survivor Freeze Frame:  While the immunity challenge provided lots of nice spitting out water shots, this week’s winner features Naonka’s misery with the added bonus of a “That’s what she said” moment: