On Monday afternoon, I sent an email to my Life Associate and Space Mountain co-owner. The email was sarcastically rooted in optimism. We were losing our game by 48 points with only one player left, so I did some quick research and found out that the top two performances in the league this year were by Jahvid Best (48 points) and Kenny Britt (49 points). Jason Hanson had the third highest scoring week. He’s a kicker, more on kickers later. As a loyal reader can guess, our one player was the newly acquired Michael Vick. Just the fact that I’m writing this before 9:00 AM is a hint as to how it turned out.
I hadn’t even planned on watching the game. Her Sweetness and I made the acquaintance of The First 48 over the weekend. Long story short, it’s about homicide detectives trying to solve a case in the first forty eight hours after a murder. I’ve seen it on the guide many times in the past, but I always thought it was a history show about the first 48 states, which wouldn’t interest me. I was wrong, and I’m glad, it’s a good show. So I figured we may watch a recorded episode of that before retiring for the evening, but I checked the game just to see what was happening and to verify that the news of Donovan McNabb’s contract extension was true. The Eagles were already up 7-0 and had the ball again and only about five minutes had been played. Then Mike Tirico said that the Eagles had scored an 88-yard touchdown on their first play from scrimmage. In TUFFKL, scoring 48 points is not impossible, and things like a long touchdown on the first play need to happen. TUFFKL scoring gives 3 bonus points for every touchdown over 50 yards, so that first touchdown was worth 11 points, that’s a big dent.
Then it just got out of hand. As you can guess, we won, it wasn’t even close. Vick scored 61 points, we had the game wrapped up at the beginning of the third quarter, I think I’m in love.
I can’t imagine what it’s like to be on the other side of this. If I were ahead in a game by 48 points and lost that quickly, I probably wouldn’t sleep until Thursday. There has to be stories all over the country about fantasy games that were won and lost as a result of Vick’s performance. What if he had only scored 47 and we lost by one? Whew.
And to think that I was going to come on here and rant about what a bad week it was in TUFFKL. Our game was going pretty badly on Sunday. Everybody on our opponent’s team was scoring and no one on Space Mountain was, except for Kyle Orton who we had on our bench. Brandon Jacobs and Michael Crabtree both had touchdowns called back, Brandon Marshall had two quarterbacks hurt, then he almost threw an interception himself, and apparently Ted Nugent reads my blog, because Mike Nugent blew out his knee on an onside kick. But then Felix Jones had a 71-yard touchdown before the lights went out in East Rutherford and we were back in it. Then came the low point of my Sunday. We hadn’t started Nugent, instead we went with Matt Prater. Our opponent started Ryan Succop. At the end of the first half, Josh McDaniels decided to let Prater attempt a 58 yard field goal. That’s 9 points for us if he makes it, and -2 if he misses it. He missed it short and the Chiefs ran it all the way back in to field goal range. Succop hit a 40-something yard field goal, that’s 6 points for our opponent and a 17 point swing in the game. I was mad.
I still had high hopes heading in to the Sunday night game. We had the Steelers defense and Vick left against only Tom Brady, and we were down by around 10 points. Surely that seemed doable. Tom Brady had other plans, though, and he made the Steelers defense look pretty feminine.
But there is joy in Mudville today, readers. Space Mountain got a win out of nowhere. It’s one of those fantasy games that I’ll always remember.
It’s up there with watching Rex Grossman throw 4 interceptions against the Cardinals in the “Crown their Asses” game a few years ago. I was ahead 16 points in that game and Grossman ended up with a -12.
So all is well today. In Her Sweetness’ work league, Roll Over had 110 points by 3:00 on Sunday. The game actually got a little close last night, because our opponent had the Eagles defense, but we won by 16. Our opponent started Steve Smith of the Giants who didn’t play, and he had the points on the bench to beat us. It was that kind of week I guess. At 5-5, we are now in a 5-way tie for third place. We have the tie-breaker right now because we’re the highest scoring team in the league. So with all that good news, this is where I get nervous and start waiting for the other shoe to drop.