The Conditioning Test

This morning I rolled out of bed around 7 AM.   I had the alarm set for 7:30, so I was up early, not so much in anticipation of what I was about to do, but in anticipation of just being done with it.

I decided a few days ago that I would put myself through the much ballyhooed conditioning test that Albert Haynesworth had in the news for way too long.  I realize it’s beating a dead horse at this point, but I didn’t have the editing equipment that I do now.  So with Her Sweetness behind the camera, I took the field at a local high school to see if I was fit enough to play for the Redskins.

The Rules:

  • The test consists of 2 300-yard shuttle runs.  You sprint 25 yards, back and forth 6 times.
  • You do this twice.  The first one must be completed in 70 seconds.  The second in 72 seconds.
  • I was under the impression that you get a five minute break in between, but I just read an article that said Albert was given a 3 1/2 minute break.  I took five.  I’ll also mention that my initial plan was to chug a can of Sparks in between for some reason.

    Mmmmm, Sparks.

    Realizing that an idiot would do this, and it probably wasn’t a good idea to drink booze on school grounds on a Sunday morning, I didn’t partake in a delicious Sparks.

The excuses:

  • Did I mention that I woke up at 7 AM?
  • After I woke up I had a cup of coffee and then chugged two pints of water.  I was preparing like I did for going on a 12-mile run during marathon training.  This was stupid.
  • I’m not a multi-millionaire, in fact I’m unemployed.  This also means that I don’t have benefits, so I were I to blow out anything I’d have to pay a lot of money for good painkillers.
  • The only sprinting I’ve done in the last 10 years was to catch trains in Penn Station on Friday nights when I was drunk.
  • The ground was wet, and I have no reason to own cleats.

Enough excuses.  Hell, I ran a marathon in January, I just might be able to do this.  I don’t see Albert Haynesworth running a marathon any time soon.  So now, without further ado, the visual evidence (there is sound):


2 responses to “The Conditioning Test

  1. Maybe you should have drank that Sparks.

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